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Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Week
Drank
Somebody
Explain
Funny
Seriously
Everyone
Lifetime
Enough
Missing
Pepsi
Something
Room
Advertise
Humor
Piss
Rooms
Coke

More quotes by Lewis Black

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Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
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In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
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Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.
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When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth, and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you, or you would flee from this room in horror!
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I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.
Lewis Black
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Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
Lewis Black
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The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
Lewis Black
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I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
Lewis Black
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Earth Day was created because we were doing a lot of drugs, more drugs than you could ever f@*! imagine. And so we came up with Earth Day, so we'd have one day that would remind us what planet we were living on.
Lewis Black
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
Lewis Black
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All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
Lewis Black
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Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
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My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes
Lewis Black
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling The British are coming! The British are coming!
Lewis Black
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I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
Lewis Black
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When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Lewis Black
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He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.
Lewis Black
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Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.
Lewis Black
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I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.
Lewis Black
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This is the thing I've never understood: If someone is going to hell for being gay or being a Jew or a Muslim or having an abortion, then what are you worried about? You don't need to try and convert these people or try and save them. If you really believe in your religion, these people are already doomed, so stop worrying about them.
Lewis Black