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I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
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Guinness
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More quotes by Lewis Black
Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
Lewis Black
The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
Lewis Black
I believe that every paper in the country should have one headline that when you read it, you laugh so hard you can't stand it. It has to be that way. What about a headline like this: 'Hippo Eats Dwarf'? How good is that? You read that headline, and you immediately close the paper and say, 'Wow, it's gonna be a great day.
Lewis Black
Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise.
Lewis Black
I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Lewis Black
In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
Lewis Black
We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.
Lewis Black
I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.
Lewis Black
The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
Lewis Black
If you want to get an audience quiet, just say abortion and everybody shuts up and the tension in the room is spectacular.
Lewis Black
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.
Lewis Black
I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.
Lewis Black
I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.
Lewis Black
I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
Lewis Black
Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler.
Lewis Black
I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
Lewis Black
It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursuing that, you're an idiot. You're a moron. The shortest distance between two points is not a celebrity, or being next to a celebrity.
Lewis Black
I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.
Lewis Black
