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The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Whatever
Tortoise
Society
Tortoises
Moving
Functioning
Keep
Moves
Slowly
Towards
Democratic
Goal
Capitalistic

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Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
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If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.
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Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
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We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.
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I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
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It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
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Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it's something that eludes us. We've got things that have to be done! We didn't fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again.
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When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth, and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you, or you would flee from this room in horror!
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This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole.
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Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.
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Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'
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Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
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In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
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Self-love is a big part of golf.
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Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
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In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
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I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.
Lewis Black