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You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Much
Never
Pork
Mouth
Mouths
Concerned

More quotes by Lewis Black

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If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .
Lewis Black
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What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
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That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
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The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.
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Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
Lewis Black
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You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.
Lewis Black
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Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
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What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding.
Lewis Black
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There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
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In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow - together! And I hadn't done drugs.
Lewis Black
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Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff.
Lewis Black
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The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
Lewis Black
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I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
Lewis Black
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I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.
Lewis Black
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This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars.
Lewis Black
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
Lewis Black
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It's great that we're bringing democracy to Iraq. I can't wait to see how we do it! What are we gonna do, give them our civics textbooks?
Lewis Black
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sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
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The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.
Lewis Black