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You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Never
Pork
Mouth
Mouths
Concerned
Much

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When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.
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Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling The British are coming! The British are coming!
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If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.
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If you want to get an audience quiet, just say abortion and everybody shuts up and the tension in the room is spectacular.
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The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
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He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.
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I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
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When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
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A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!
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I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
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I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.
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Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
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When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.
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Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.
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I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.
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I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.
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On the plane was a Time magazine and there was a 30 page article on diabetes, and I read every page. By the time that plane landed, I had diabetes.
Lewis Black