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Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Dawn
Eating
Since
Wrong
Turns
Things
Civilisation

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I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.
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Self-love is a big part of golf.
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There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.
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I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
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If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.
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I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.
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The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.
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One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.
Lewis Black
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I believe that every paper in the country should have one headline that when you read it, you laugh so hard you can't stand it. It has to be that way. What about a headline like this: 'Hippo Eats Dwarf'? How good is that? You read that headline, and you immediately close the paper and say, 'Wow, it's gonna be a great day.
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When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.
Lewis Black
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I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
Lewis Black
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
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We have fossils... We win!
Lewis Black
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You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.
Lewis Black
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sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling The British are coming! The British are coming!
Lewis Black
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When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.
Lewis Black
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What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
Lewis Black