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My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
International
Health
House
Pancakes
Club
Clubs
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More quotes by Lewis Black

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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
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I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
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You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.
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I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.
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It's great that we're bringing democracy to Iraq. I can't wait to see how we do it! What are we gonna do, give them our civics textbooks?
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It's 2003. Why can't I teleport?
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black
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I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
Lewis Black
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When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Lewis Black
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Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
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I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track.
Lewis Black
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In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
Lewis Black
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The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
Lewis Black
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It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!
Lewis Black
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You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.
Lewis Black
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The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.
Lewis Black
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
Lewis Black
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North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.
Lewis Black
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The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.
Lewis Black
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There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.
Lewis Black