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The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Thing
Worthless
Years
Republicans
Think
Democrats
Thinking
Democrat
Republican
Completely
Learned
Year
More quotes by Lewis Black
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
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Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
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I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
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I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.
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Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
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The thing that makes my generation The Greatest is our ability to hang out. We're spectacular at it. If you take somebody from my generation and sit them on a couch and bring them food and plumbing, they'll sit there and talk to you about anything you want until the day you die.
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It's 2003. Why can't I teleport?
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If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.
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That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
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When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth, and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you, or you would flee from this room in horror!
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I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.
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You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.
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Self-love is a big part of golf.
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
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I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.
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If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .
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I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
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The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
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We don't have seasons anymore. You know why? We lost the ozone layer. Well, put it on milk cartons - let's find it!
Lewis Black
