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What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Difference
Differences
Sucks
Blows
Democrat
Blow
Republican

More quotes by Lewis Black

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I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
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What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding.
Lewis Black
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Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
Lewis Black
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When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
Lewis Black
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I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.
Lewis Black
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
Lewis Black
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I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.
Lewis Black
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I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
Lewis Black
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You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
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If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
Lewis Black
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If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!
Lewis Black
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That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
Lewis Black
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black
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I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
Lewis Black
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One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.
Lewis Black
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Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
Lewis Black
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If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and the image they're showing is the same as the one in your head, kill yourself. You're better off coming back as a lobster.
Lewis Black
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It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!
Lewis Black
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I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.
Lewis Black
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Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.
Lewis Black