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Earth Day was created because we were doing a lot of drugs, more drugs than you could ever f@*! imagine. And so we came up with Earth Day, so we'd have one day that would remind us what planet we were living on.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Earth
Drugs
Ever
Planet
Would
Planets
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More quotes by Lewis Black
I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.
Lewis Black
Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
Lewis Black
There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.
Lewis Black
sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'
Lewis Black
I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black
The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.
Lewis Black
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
Lewis Black
Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
Lewis Black
I don't know if watching Chaz Bono will turn your kids into transsexuals, but I'm pretty sure that letting them watch Keith Ablow will turn them into assholes
Lewis Black
Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis Black
I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.
Lewis Black
A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!
Lewis Black
I never write anything down. I write onstage.
Lewis Black
If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.
Lewis Black
That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
Lewis Black
I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
Lewis Black