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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling The British are coming! The British are coming!
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Car
Coming
Hours
Lasts
Yelling
Last
Town
Three
Towns
Persons
British
Person
Across
More quotes by Lewis Black
Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
Lewis Black
You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.
Lewis Black
The thing that makes my generation The Greatest is our ability to hang out. We're spectacular at it. If you take somebody from my generation and sit them on a couch and bring them food and plumbing, they'll sit there and talk to you about anything you want until the day you die.
Lewis Black
The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.
Lewis Black
If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.
Lewis Black
Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.
Lewis Black
When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.
Lewis Black
Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes. Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person. Well, you look like a person. No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!
Lewis Black
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black
I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
Lewis Black
sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
Lewis Black
On the plane was a Time magazine and there was a 30 page article on diabetes, and I read every page. By the time that plane landed, I had diabetes.
Lewis Black
You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
Lewis Black
This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole.
Lewis Black
The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.
Lewis Black
I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.
Lewis Black
The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.
Lewis Black
See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.
Lewis Black
I never write anything down. I write onstage.
Lewis Black
