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I do the same gig. I might change it a little I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Might
Fast
People
South
Talk
Talking
Change
Used
Littles
Gigs
Little
Slow

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There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
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I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
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Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
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I have this insane optimistic streak that the American people prevail over the stupidity that the leadership exhibits time and time again, and I think that's the truth.
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Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
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On the plane was a Time magazine and there was a 30 page article on diabetes, and I read every page. By the time that plane landed, I had diabetes.
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Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.
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What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
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Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
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I like college football, but I'm a huge college basketball fan. I could sit and watch every game of March Madness and be happy. That could be a vacation.
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
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I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.
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I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
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Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise.
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Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
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No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus and my mother still thought I was broke. Remember: It's your life, not theirs. Just because your parents sent you to college doesn't mean they bought the rest of your life.
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Just relax and breathe through your ass.
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I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
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There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
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