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I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore, and you'd have as much chance communicating with people.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
People
Notes
Offshore
Continue
Communicating
Chance
Bottle
Felt
Bottles
Play
Note
Work
Plays
Much
Send
Always
Communicate

More quotes by Lewis Black

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What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things through a sequester. What does that word have to do with budgeting? It's like if you have a family budget and go, 'We really don't know what to take out economically from the budget, so we're going to whack out protein for this week.'
Lewis Black
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I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.
Lewis Black
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It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'
Lewis Black
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No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus and my mother still thought I was broke. Remember: It's your life, not theirs. Just because your parents sent you to college doesn't mean they bought the rest of your life.
Lewis Black
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Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.
Lewis Black
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Self-love is a big part of golf.
Lewis Black
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Can somebody explain to me why Pepsi and Coke advertise? Are we missing something? Seriously, everyone in this room has drank enough Pepsi and Coke in their lifetime they could piss it for a week.
Lewis Black
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
Lewis Black
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You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
Lewis Black
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It's great that we're bringing democracy to Iraq. I can't wait to see how we do it! What are we gonna do, give them our civics textbooks?
Lewis Black
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The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling The British are coming! The British are coming!
Lewis Black
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When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
Lewis Black
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I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
Lewis Black
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We have fossils... We win!
Lewis Black
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Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
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See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.
Lewis Black
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We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.
Lewis Black
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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.
Lewis Black
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What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
Lewis Black
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Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker.
Lewis Black