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The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
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More quotes by Lewis Black

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I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
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Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
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You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.
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I do the same gig. I might change it a little I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.
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Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.
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I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.
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I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.
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I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
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We have fossils... We win!
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What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
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When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.
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Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler.
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There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
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I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. I love music because it's really just - I tried to play piano as a kid. I was awful. It didn't help, and this is absolutely true, that my piano teacher had arthritis. And that's not a good way to learn.
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I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don't know how much older I can get.
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There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.
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If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .
Lewis Black
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I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
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I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.
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The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.
Lewis Black