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The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Reality
Republicans
Democrats
Dealing
Democrat
Lack
Republican
Truly
Either
Responded
More quotes by Lewis Black
Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.
Lewis Black
Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem...
Lewis Black
It's 2003. Why can't I teleport?
Lewis Black
Usually I'm too tired to apologize.
Lewis Black
I do the same gig. I might change it a little I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.
Lewis Black
Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
Lewis Black
There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.
Lewis Black
When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.
Lewis Black
Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis Black
I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.
Lewis Black
Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes. Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person. Well, you look like a person. No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!
Lewis Black
One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.
Lewis Black
I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.
Lewis Black
I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
Lewis Black
You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
Lewis Black
I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.
Lewis Black
In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow - together! And I hadn't done drugs.
Lewis Black
Equestrian, by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.
Lewis Black