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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
People
Uniform
Uniforms
Understands
Authority
Anybody
Sure
Problem
Always
More quotes by Lewis Black
It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.
Lewis Black
Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
Lewis Black
That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.
Lewis Black
Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker.
Lewis Black
I have never thought of my entertainment as being able to bring about social change. I am seriously always looking for the laugh. What it did make me conscious of was having empathy for those without any power in this country. That has always stuck with me.
Lewis Black
I never write anything down. I write onstage.
Lewis Black
Should I eat this or should I eat this? Well, I'll have to eat both!
Lewis Black
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black
I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
Lewis Black
I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. I love music because it's really just - I tried to play piano as a kid. I was awful. It didn't help, and this is absolutely true, that my piano teacher had arthritis. And that's not a good way to learn.
Lewis Black
He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.
Lewis Black
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Lewis Black
You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.
Lewis Black
My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black
There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.
Lewis Black
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.
Lewis Black
I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.
Lewis Black
We don't have seasons anymore. You know why? We lost the ozone layer. Well, put it on milk cartons - let's find it!
Lewis Black
Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
Lewis Black
I have no religion because I was born and raised Jewish. And on the first night of Hanukkah, my parents, when I was very young, gave me a top to play with. They called it a dreidel. I knew it was a top. And as I looked at that top, I said, 'You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
