Quote

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Courses
Quarter
Course
Quarters
Father
Hole
Holes
Nine
Property
Ordnance
Worked
Naval
Paid
Labs

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There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
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I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.
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I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.
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I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say.
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What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things through a sequester. What does that word have to do with budgeting? It's like if you have a family budget and go, 'We really don't know what to take out economically from the budget, so we're going to whack out protein for this week.'
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See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.
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In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
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It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.
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I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever.
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Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
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I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
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The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.
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As psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
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I do the same gig. I might change it a little I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.
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My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes
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If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.
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I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
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A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!
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