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I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Littles
Pebbles
Little
Beach
Play
Asks
Enough
Waiting
Thing
Call
Would
Point
Like
Bigs
Keep
Pebble

More quotes by Lewis Black

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When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.
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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
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When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.
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We have fossils... We win!
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Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.
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I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
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If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.
Lewis Black
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The people we elect aren't bipartisan. The American public is bipartisan.
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I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever.
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Every time I use an app, part of my brain dies! We'll get to the point where we go to bed and wonder: 'Did I have a thought today?' You'll have to go to your 'Thought' app!
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If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
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He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.
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Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff.
Lewis Black
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We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.
Lewis Black
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Self-love is a big part of golf.
Lewis Black
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Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?'
Lewis Black
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When we anticipate, we're the happiest. Unless you're on antidepressants. The reason you take antidepressants is because you can't anticipate. You think everything's going to be horrible, so it usually is.
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You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
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It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.
Lewis Black
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The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.
Lewis Black