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I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Democrat
Republican
Anybody
Understand
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More quotes by Lewis Black
I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy.
Lewis Black
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
Lewis Black
If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow and, inevitably, you're going to be seated in front of some guy who's playing with himself, and he'll be singing, 'Happy Days Are Here Again.' I tell you - when I see that guy, I feel pretty good about myself.
Lewis Black
What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
Lewis Black
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
Everyone of you has a health that is unique and totally different from everybody else. Completely! Because we... are all like snowflakes.
Lewis Black
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.
Lewis Black
Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis Black
You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.
Lewis Black
You want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.
Lewis Black
We have a two-party system: The Democratic Party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican Party, which is a party of bad ideas.
Lewis Black
I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.
Lewis Black
What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your head against the wall. So it's nice to make a breakthrough and not kind of lying there with your head bleeding.
Lewis Black
I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.
Lewis Black
I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet.
Lewis Black
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
Lewis Black
I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.
Lewis Black