Quote

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Lewis Black

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Milk
Funny
Thing
Soy
Juice

More quotes by Lewis Black

Image
If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow and, inevitably, you're going to be seated in front of some guy who's playing with himself, and he'll be singing, 'Happy Days Are Here Again.' I tell you - when I see that guy, I feel pretty good about myself.
Lewis Black
Image
When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life until Dan Quayle was elected Vice President of the United States. She said, if it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
Lewis Black
Image
One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.
Lewis Black
Image
If you listen to a song and get an image in your head, and then you go home and watch mtv and the image they're showing is the same as the one in your head, kill yourself. You're better off coming back as a lobster.
Lewis Black
Image
There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
Lewis Black
Image
Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis Black
Image
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.
Lewis Black
Image
What is the difference between a Democrat and a Republican? A Democrat blows, a Republican sucks.
Lewis Black
Image
You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
Lewis Black
Image
It's 2003. Why can't I teleport?
Lewis Black
Image
Should I eat this or should I eat this? Well, I'll have to eat both!
Lewis Black
Image
The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.
Lewis Black
Image
I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
Image
Equestrian, by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.
Lewis Black
Image
Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
Lewis Black
Image
In Canada I'm not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there's a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it's the people of New Orleans.
Lewis Black
Image
I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
Lewis Black
Image
When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
Lewis Black
Image
It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.
Lewis Black
Image
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black