Quote

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

Lewis Black

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Made
Halloween
Corn
Candy
Funny
Ever

More quotes by Lewis Black

Image
Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
Image
What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
Image
There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.
Lewis Black
Image
Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
Lewis Black
Image
I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.
Lewis Black
Image
I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck ,so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.
Lewis Black
Image
Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.
Lewis Black
Image
I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.
Lewis Black
Image
Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.
Lewis Black
Image
A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!
Lewis Black
Image
Just relax and breathe through your ass.
Lewis Black
Image
If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.
Lewis Black
Image
Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas.
Lewis Black
Image
You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.
Lewis Black
Image
It's great that we're bringing democracy to Iraq. I can't wait to see how we do it! What are we gonna do, give them our civics textbooks?
Lewis Black
Image
Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.
Lewis Black
Image
Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.
Lewis Black
Image
In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow - together! And I hadn't done drugs.
Lewis Black
Image
sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
Image
My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black