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The first and often only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness... When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.

Lewis B. Smedes

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Lewis B. Smedes
Age: 81 †
Born: 1921
Born: August 20
Died: 2002
Died: December 19
Author
Civil Servant
Lewis Benedictus Smedes
Firsts
Forgiveness
First
Forgiving
Discover
Free
Often
Genuinely
Doe
Healed
Persons
Prisoner
Person
Forgive

More quotes by Lewis B. Smedes

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Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory.
Lewis B. Smedes
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When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving, and getting and giving again.
Lewis B. Smedes
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We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.
Lewis B. Smedes
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When forgiveness is necessary, don't wait too long. We must begin to forgive, because without forgiving, we choke off our own joy we kill our own soul. People carrying hate and resentment can invest themselves so deeply in that resentment that they gradually define themselves in terms of it.
Lewis B. Smedes
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The longer we hate, the harder it is to heal us.
Lewis B. Smedes
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None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... When we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful. But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate.
Lewis B. Smedes
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A wise judge may let mercy temper justice but may not let mercy undo it.
Lewis B. Smedes
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Their pain [the injurer's pain at having injured you] and your pain create the point and counterpoint for the rhythm of reconciliation. When the beat of their pain is a response to the beat of yours, they have become truthful in their feelings...they have moved a step closer to a truthful reunion.
Lewis B. Smedes
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Gandhi was right: if we all live by 'an eye for an eye' the whole world will be blind. The only way out is forgiveness.
Lewis B. Smedes
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You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run.
Lewis B. Smedes
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To miss out on joy is to miss out on the reason for your existence.
Lewis B. Smedes
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The only way to heal the pain which will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness heals the memory's vision. ... You set a prisoner free, but you discover the real prisoner was yourself.
Lewis B. Smedes
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Forgiving is tough. Excusing is easy. What a mistake it is to confuse forgiving with being mushy, soft, gutless, and oh, so understanding. Before we forgive, we stiffen our spine and we hold a person accountable. And only then, in tough-minded judgment, can we do the outrageously impossible thing: we can forgive.
Lewis B. Smedes
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I learned that gratitude is the best feeling I would ever have, the ultimate joy of living.
Lewis B. Smedes
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Any moment that opens us up to the reality that life is good is a parable of the supreme end for which we were made.
Lewis B. Smedes
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God is the original, master forgiver. Each time we grope our reluctant way through the minor miracle of forgiving, we are imitating his style. I am not at all sure that any of us would have had imagination enough to see the possibilities in this way to heal the wrongs of this life had he not done it first.
Lewis B. Smedes
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You and I were created for joy, and if we miss it we miss the reason for our existence. If our joy is honest joy, it must somehow be congruous with human tragedy. This is the test of joy's integrity. It is compatible with pain. Only the heart that hurts has a right to joy.
Lewis B. Smedes
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My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed - and each of the five has been me.
Lewis B. Smedes
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Don't do it quickly, but don't wait too long... If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter's rights to our souls.
Lewis B. Smedes
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It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited.
Lewis B. Smedes