Quote

The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.

Leslie Nielsen

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Leslie Nielsen
Age: 84 †
Born: 1926
Born: February 11
Died: 2010
Died: November 28
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Regina
Saskatchewan
Leslie William Nielsen
Least
Factors
Actually
Ball
Whether
Clubs
Many
Obviously
Going
Balls
Golfer
Golf
Golfers
Distance
Club
Depends
Actual

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Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.
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I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.
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Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
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I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts perhaps it was my Canadian accent.
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It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.
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You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.
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The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.
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The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.
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I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!
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I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
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I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.
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I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.
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Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!
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I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?
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Do your part to silence gossip - don't repeat it.
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The reason they call if 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.
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I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!
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One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.
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Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.
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Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.
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