Quote

With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.

Les Dawson

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Les Dawson
Age: 62 †
Born: 1931
Born: February 2
Died: 1993
Died: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Game Show Host
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Leslie Dawson
Thinking
Air
Creatures
Bravado
Behinds
Wives
Behind
Defence
Wife
Mechanism
Women
Hide
Men
Clever
Think
Basically

More quotes by Les Dawson

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My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
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I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
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I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
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I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir we're stock-taking.'
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In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
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Slumps don't bother me.
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There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
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A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
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Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
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I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
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He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
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I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
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The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'
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How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
Les Dawson
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I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
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The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.
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I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay the mice throw themselves on the traps.
Les Dawson
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Everyone has a family tree the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
Les Dawson