Quote

The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'

Les Dawson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Les Dawson
Age: 62 †
Born: 1931
Born: February 2
Died: 1993
Died: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Game Show Host
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Leslie Dawson
Mother
Saws
Home
Doors
Pouring
Week
Opened
Stand
Round
Came
Rounds
Law
Rain
Lasts
Door
Last
Absolutely

More quotes by Les Dawson

Image
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
Les Dawson
Image
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.
Les Dawson
Image
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
Les Dawson
Image
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
Les Dawson
Image
I've got a friend who is a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher till he lost his nerve.
Les Dawson
Image
He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
Les Dawson
Image
A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
Les Dawson
Image
With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.
Les Dawson
Image
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
Les Dawson
Image
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay the mice throw themselves on the traps.
Les Dawson
Image
Everyone has a family tree the Dawsons have one, it's a weeping willow.
Les Dawson
Image
The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week.
Les Dawson
Image
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finishes up.
Les Dawson
Image
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
Les Dawson
Image
I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir we're stock-taking.'
Les Dawson
Image
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
Les Dawson
Image
Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.
Les Dawson
Image
The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.
Les Dawson
Image
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
Les Dawson
Image
I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
Les Dawson