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The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'

Les Dawson

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Les Dawson
Age: 62 †
Born: 1931
Born: February 2
Died: 1993
Died: June 10
Actor
Comedian
Game Show Host
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Leslie Dawson
Law
Rain
Lasts
Door
Absolutely
Last
Saws
Mother
Doors
Pouring
Home
Week
Opened
Stand
Round
Came
Rounds

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I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.
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I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.
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I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
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I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay the mice throw themselves on the traps.
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In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
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My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir we're stock-taking.'
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