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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Crowds
Advertising
Biggest
Gonna
Playing
Show
Whichever
Shows
Gigs
Live
Crowd
More quotes by Lenny Bruce
I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
Lenny Bruce
My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
Lenny Bruce
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
Lenny Bruce
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce
Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Lenny Bruce
I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny Bruce
You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Lenny Bruce
I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
Lenny Bruce
I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
Lenny Bruce