Quote

I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Tests
Nixon
Guess
Threw
Century
Curves
Heaven
Hitler
Showed
Surprised
Passed
Test
Curve

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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
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