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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Money
Window
Sill
Something
Laws
Taxing
People
Drug
Bosses
Grow
Figured
Millions
Jail
Grows
Boss
Law
Putting
Anyone
Million
More quotes by Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce
You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
Lenny Bruce
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
Lenny Bruce