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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Law
Putting
Anyone
Million
Money
Window
Sill
Something
Laws
Taxing
People
Drug
Bosses
Grow
Figured
Millions
Jail
Grows
Boss
More quotes by Lenny Bruce
You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
Lenny Bruce
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
Lenny Bruce
When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce