Quote

I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Hard
Miami
Work
Gigs
License
Print
Starting
Tried
Religion
Scam
Money
Scams

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce