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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
License
Print
Starting
Tried
Religion
Scam
Money
Scams
Hard
Miami
Work
Gigs

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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