Quote

I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.

Lenny Bruce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Religion
Scam
Money
Scams
Hard
Miami
Work
Gigs
License
Print
Starting
Tried

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

Image
Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
Image
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
Image
The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
Lenny Bruce
Image
Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
Image
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
Image
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
Lenny Bruce
Image
When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Lenny Bruce
Image
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
Image
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
Image
Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Satire is tragedy plus time.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Communism is just one big telephone company.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce