Quote

I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Part
Jew
Everything
Murder
Whole
Stuck
Goyim
Would
Cool
Goose
Talking
Geese
Religion
Stepping
Christ
Moses
Everyone
Conspiracy

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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
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