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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Desert
Barrel
Guy
Barrels
Anything
Mud
Chicken
Island
Chickens
Islands

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
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You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce