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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Mud
Chicken
Island
Chickens
Islands
Desert
Guy
Barrel
Anything
Barrels

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
Lenny Bruce
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
Lenny Bruce
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce