Quote

That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Sunday
Starts
Combination
Conflict
Teacher
Wife
Night
School
Hooker

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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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