Quote

That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Wife
Night
School
Hooker
Sunday
Starts
Combination
Conflict
Teacher

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
Lenny Bruce
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
Lenny Bruce
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce