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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Feathers
Sleeping
Floor
Sleep
Back

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
Lenny Bruce
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
Lenny Bruce
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce
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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
Lenny Bruce
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
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You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
Lenny Bruce
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
Lenny Bruce
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
Lenny Bruce
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
Lenny Bruce
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
Lenny Bruce