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Communism is just one big telephone company.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Telephone
Telephones
Communism
Company
Bigs

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Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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