Quote

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Three
Alright
Jews
Jew
Admit
Killed
Atheism
Days
Christ

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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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Satire is tragedy plus time.
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce