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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Bigs
Loneliness
Keep
Bed
Next
Laugh
Light
Wouldn
Live
Laughing
Dormitory
Long
Sleep
Beds
People
Nice
Lonesome
Talk
Lights
More quotes by Lenny Bruce
I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
Lenny Bruce
If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny Bruce
Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
Lenny Bruce
Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
Lenny Bruce
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce