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I want to perform an unnatural act.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Unnatural
Perform

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
Lenny Bruce
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
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I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
Lenny Bruce
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Lenny Bruce
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
Lenny Bruce
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
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Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.
Lenny Bruce
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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny Bruce
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
Lenny Bruce
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce