Quote

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Would
Whatever
Miracle
Priest
Funny
Mines
Monk
Money
Mine
Pocket
Else
Necessary
Miracles
Someone
Taking
Priests
Become
Hell
Pockets
Confines
Stills
Law
Perform
Rabbi
Still
Within
Putting
Remaining

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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If you believe there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
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You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
Lenny Bruce
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce