Quote

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

Lenny Bruce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Money
Mine
Pocket
Else
Necessary
Miracles
Someone
Taking
Priests
Become
Hell
Pockets
Confines
Stills
Law
Perform
Rabbi
Still
Within
Putting
Remaining
Would
Whatever
Miracle
Priest
Funny
Mines
Monk

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

Image
Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
Lenny Bruce
Image
There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, What I'm going to do if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
Lenny Bruce
Image
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce
Image
If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
Lenny Bruce
Image
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Communism is just one big telephone company.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
Lenny Bruce
Image
What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
Image
TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
Lenny Bruce
Image
There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
Lenny Bruce