Quote

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Lenny Bruce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Back
Guys
Comin
Time
Relationship
Yell
Love
Guy
Ladies
Like
Gone
Cats
Funny
Dating
Keep
Dogs
Money
Cat
Women
Dog

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

Image
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
Lenny Bruce
Image
All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
Lenny Bruce
Image
When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Lenny Bruce
Image
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
Lenny Bruce
Image
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
Image
There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.
Lenny Bruce
Image
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce
Image
I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
Lenny Bruce
Image
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce
Image
Satire is tragedy plus time.
Lenny Bruce