Quote

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Funny
Dating
Keep
Dogs
Money
Cat
Women
Dog
Back
Guys
Comin
Time
Relationship
Yell
Love
Guy
Ladies
Like
Gone
Cats

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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
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Communism is like one big phone company.
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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I was a Jew talking about Goyim religion. If I had just stuck to Moses, everything would have been cool. But, copping to being part of the whole Christ murder conspiracy got everyone goose-stepping again.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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