Quote

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Like
Gone
Cats
Funny
Dating
Keep
Dogs
Money
Cat
Women
Dog
Back
Guys
Comin
Time
Relationship
Yell
Love
Guy
Ladies

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
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I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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You got a million drug laws now because the bosses figured there was more money in putting people in jail than taxing something anyone can grow on a window sill.
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
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You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
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You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.
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Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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