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If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Even
Jewish
Catholic
York
Live

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
Lenny Bruce
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
Lenny Bruce
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
Lenny Bruce
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You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.
Lenny Bruce
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce
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You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.
Lenny Bruce
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There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.
Lenny Bruce
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.
Lenny Bruce
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
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Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
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Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.
Lenny Bruce
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
Lenny Bruce