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I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Waking
Hour
Second
Hours
Every
Influenced

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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
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There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
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Life is a four-letter word.
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
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I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
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