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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Hands
People
Dunno
Parties
Kill
Hand
Party
Christ

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.
Lenny Bruce
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Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.
Lenny Bruce
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
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Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Lenny Bruce
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Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.
Lenny Bruce
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That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
Lenny Bruce
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The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.
Lenny Bruce
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
Lenny Bruce
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
Lenny Bruce
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TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.
Lenny Bruce
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Darwin's theory is as dead as he is. Everyone is surviving, fit or not. Years ago, any kid dumb enough to chase a shiny object down a well was dead, and out of the gene pool. Now they got the technology and medicine to save the fool so he can breed more open mouth breathers.
Lenny Bruce
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
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I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
Lenny Bruce
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You can't do anything with anybody's body to make it dirty to me. Six people, eight people, one person - you can do only one thing to make it dirty: kill it. Hiroshima was dirty.
Lenny Bruce
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Communism is just one big telephone company.
Lenny Bruce
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Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Lenny Bruce