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When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.

Lenny Bruce

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Lenny Bruce
Age: 40 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 13
Died: 1966
Died: August 3
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Writer
Mineola
New York
Eight
Business
Nothing
Years

More quotes by Lenny Bruce

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A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.
Lenny Bruce
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The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.
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The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted but if your mother goes, Ptshew!
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All my humor is based upon destruction and despair.
Lenny Bruce
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Communism is like one big phone company.
Lenny Bruce
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Life is a four-letter word.
Lenny Bruce
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Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?
Lenny Bruce
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Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.
Lenny Bruce
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I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.
Lenny Bruce
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I want to perform an unnatural act.
Lenny Bruce
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Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.
Lenny Bruce
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If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.
Lenny Bruce
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If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.
Lenny Bruce
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I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
Lenny Bruce
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Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
Lenny Bruce
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What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.
Lenny Bruce
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I tried the religion scam in Miami, so I know how hard that gig is. But, if you can get it to work, starting your own religion is a license to print money.
Lenny Bruce
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Every group, every system has a set of values and morals and when you get outside those, then the alarms ring. I was politically incorrect to 95% of the country luckily my 5% had the bread to come see me.
Lenny Bruce
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Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.
Lenny Bruce
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I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.
Lenny Bruce